Mother's Day Stories
from "RDI® Moms " - 2007
Taking Pleasure in Big Moments and Everyday Miracles
It can be hard sometimes to stop the routine, the daily hurtles of work, mothering and stress. But, taking a break and examining the world, the people that your children are becoming, may be a chance to find meaning in unlikely places. As one mother describes, just a small change in scenery was enough of a catalyst for her and her children to relax, have fun, and take pleasure in people and place that surrounded them. In the story below, an RDI mom shares how moments, big and small make her stop and realize the rewards of her role in her children's lives:
"We recently had a special moment: Nicholas and Cachita's first communion. Watching them as they approached the front of the church and received communion for the first time brought back memories of when they were younger and made me realize how they have been growing in front of our eyes. I find that it is not until big moments like this happen that I pause and realize that my children are growing and glowing.
For instance, 3 weeks ago we went camping with the boy scouts. Brad and I are not camping people, but the kids had a blast. And, even sleeping in a tent, with insects, dirt and weird noises around was worth it. It was worth it because we could sit back and see our children having the time of their lives. Running around with their bikes, exploring with other kids, gathering branches to keep the fire going, making sketches with other kids and keeping them a secret until the night camp fire. Oh!!! and I almost forgot...having to get up in the middle of the night, when it was pitch dark with a puny flashlight to take Nicholas to the bathroom, which was 100 yds away... priceless!
Lastly, there are a few daily things that bring a glimmer of this feeling with them. For example, simple everyday chores, including all the pouting that comes with them, are miserable at the time, but fun afterwards. Yes, it sounds contradictory but there is something about pouting and realizing you are pouting and then laughing about it, that is brillant. These little moments are what highlight my daily routine and they are usually brought to me by my children. I love when we sit down to eat dinner and everybody shares something good or bad that happens to them. Even if it just us hurrying up to eat so that we can all sit together and watch American Idol!"
Contributor: Claudia A.
"The best Mother's Day gift anyone could hope for."
Today we are in the month of May and for many of us it's the month we celebrate Mother’s Day. An occasion meant for breakfast in bed, flowers, pictures or ceramic hearts created by your children in school, going to dinner with your family, maybe a picnic where mom gets to sit back and be the guest of honor. Or, even better, that unspoken shifting of your child's eyes while he bites his bottom lip in anticipation of your reaction as you read his homemade mother's day card. Well, I'd say for the first time in 9 years, I am excited about my son internalizing what Mother's Day means to me. You see, my son has autism and has spent a large part of his 9 years struggling to manipulate through what most of us experience as dynamic intelligence. Let's just call it all of the "warm fuzzies" we get from being with other human beings. We'll leave it at that or your head may explode and roll off your neck if I try and explain the science of it all.
Our family has chosen to follow a lifestyle of (truly) understanding this disorder we call autism, determined to slooow ourselves down (this is a toughie!), help our son graduate apprenticeship and dream for him what any parent would dream for their own child. We had an ah ha moment the other day and it was really the best Mother's Day gift anyone could hope for. I witnessed a moment that my son experienced and although it was not directed personally at me, it was my gift. I have decided to own it, cherish it, love it and it brings a smile to my face every time I share the story with someone.
My husband's niece, her husband and two children moved in next door to us from Maryland. Suffice it to say, Nathan (our son) is experiencing sharing his life with cousins and he has so much now of what he needs to not only navigate through a good portion of it, but to want it, and fit into it! Our niece's daughter who would be, let's see, hmmm, Nathan's second cousin came to the door yesterday morning. Her mom had dressed her in a peasant skirt and little tank top with some bling-bling going on. She also had a pair of sandals with sequins and her hair was pulled in a side pony tail with a ribbon (she is 6 year’s old).
"Knock, knock." Nathan answered the door and stepped back about 3 feet and studied Kira (his 6 year old cousin) for about 4 seconds and I noticed he had a look (for those 4 seconds) of inquisition in his eyes. Then Nathan took a deep breath and said (with all the prosody, expressiveness and sincerity you dream of for your child), "Ohhhh, you look nice" (big smile from my boy). And that my friends, is how it's done!
I could see the wheels were turning as Nathan was thinking about the future, about what was happening or where his cousin might be going that would ignite such a fab couture. There were all these cool things going on behind the scenes of those three (3) little words, "you look nice," that were a culmination of many hours spent working alongside Nathan so that I could become a better parent. I find that when I work on my parenting skills, that Nathan naturally gets the regulation and scaffolding he needs; that he is drawn to take on my perspective of the world and that he is a fantastic apprentice; he wants it. It is obviously innate that he wants to be a competent, caring and contributing member not only to his family, but to the human race.
So while we are blessed now to have many moments where Nathan loves on us and stares into our eyes and says wonderful things; it is a Mother' Day gift to us all that Nathan enjoys inter-subjectivity with the human race. After all, that's what separates us from the rest of the species in the Universe!
Contributor: Sandy S, mom to Nathan; my warm fuzzy boy!
"The best Mother's Day ever."
Four years ago when my 2 ½ year old son, Eli, was diagnosed with autism, he had slipped so far into his own world that I feared he didn't even realize I was his mom. He came to me to get his basic needs met, but didn't protest when I left him with someone else or get excited when I returned from being away. He rarely smiled at me, sometimes called another woman "mommy" and had trouble picking me out of a group of people. Very little, if any, emotional connection existed between us, even though I was a devoted, stay-at-home mommy. It was heartbreaking. At the time, I felt like giving up hope on a normal life for Eli and our family. I tried my best to help him by devoting myself to managing his team of therapists, but I always knew in the back of my mind that I was who he needed the most. We saw very little meaningful progress and discontinued "team" therapy after 13 months.
Then, a friend introduced me to RDI® and my hope for the future was restored. RDI® gave me the knowledge I needed and a plan to really help my child. After beginning our work with a certified consultant, Eli started responding to me in a more natural way and our relationship slowly changed. He began glancing at me. We plodded on and the glances turned to more frequent gazes. We were feeling more connected, competent and at ease in our daily dance than we had ever been. Somewhere along the way his smile returned and I realized how much I had missed it. Sweet laughter followed the smile and I realized how rarely I had heard him laugh during his short life.
Now, after 2 ½ years of RDI®, my 6 year old is finally getting "hooked" on me. He doesn't want me to leave him. He wants to hold my hand. He asks for me if I leave him with his dad or a babysitter and runs out to greet me with a huge hug, a fabulous smile and an enthusiastic "MOMMY!" when I return. We do things together now and he wants to be with me. What a difference!
Although he won't be wishing me a happy Mother's Day on his own this year, it's still going to be the best Mother's Day ever because now I know that someday he will.
Contributor: Andrea M., Barbourville, KY
"I love you way way way more than a lot times as much as everything in the world."
Maurice [my husband] was driving his mother home from Florida, and didn't get home until Mother's Day night. It was interesting that since he wasn't around, the kids really took more responsibility in making Mother's Day special for me. We had gone shopping the previous day, and they picked out a card together while I was "occupied," making sure I didn't see it; then that night they spent quite a while decorating the envelope together while I was on the phone, and when they presented it to me the next morning at breakfast, they were very proud of it! They made me pancakes all by themselves. We had been co-creating a monthly "house" out of a covered milk carton (spin off of "Art Car") based on seasons/holidays. On Mother's Day, the kids decorated a "May House" together as a present for me. When Maurice got home that night, the kids reviewed the day with him. I thought it was sweet when Patrick showed Maurice the card he made me, adding that the message was for him too: "I love you way way way more than a lot times as much as everything in the world." – how"s that for a Mother’s Day present?!
Contributor: Kim D. (excerpt, May 2005)
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